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by Felicity' Blackstone

(Extract taken from "LAMDA Acting Anthology, Volume 1", Published by Oberon).

JACK, an easy-going lad, would probably prefer to be out on the football pitch than in class.

JACK; Guess where I am? In detention with Rajiv beside me. A two hundred word essay on why I must not eat in class. Two hundred words! I can't think of anything to write.

All right, so break is the time for scoffing chocolate bars according to Old-Crow-Face, Mr C row ley, our French teacher. But what would you do if your tummy was rumbling in the middle of conjugating the verb to eat? If was the mere mention of the word that set it off. The notes it was churning out were not dissimilar to the Marseillaise. Most appropriate, I thought. Anyway, Rajiv started to get the giggles. At this point Mr Crovirley Crow suddenly lost his temper and sent my poor friend out of the class and told him to make up the work in detention.

Well, to stop any more eruptions from either stomach or Crow-Face I considered that the best approach was to secrete my chocolate mallow bar into my mouth in bite sized portions. I was just enjoying my third portion when he pounced on me to translate 'the boy eats the biscuit' into French. Unfortunately, at this point I choked on my chocolate bar... (He sighs.)

No lying in tomorrow I suppose... I'll have to get up in time for some breakfast. (Starting to write.) I must not eat in class tomorrow because...

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