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Trouble

by Simon Parker

(Extract taken from "LAMDA Acting Anthology, Volume 1", Published by Oberon).

TROUBLE is a small, bouncy, energetic dog who lives in a comfortable home. and is well looked after. At the start of the scene, TROUBLE is flopped out on the floor.

TROUBLE: (Opening an eye.) Oil. It's morning. It's sunny. (With great excitement.) Oooh! (Jumping up.) It's a lovely, lovely day. It's a day for...yes, it's a day for walkies. Walkies! Ooooh, Mummy! Daddy! It 'sad ay for walkies.

(TROUBLE runs to the door and starts to scratch.) Come on. Mummy, Come on, Daddy. It's time for walkies! Walkies! Bother, they must still be asleep. WALKIES, MUMMY! WALKJES, DADDY!!

(TROUBLE starts to hark. The door opens.) (Jumping up.) Hello, Mummy! Helio, Daddy! Can we go walkies? Can we? I love you, love you, love you, love you. Oh, isn't it exciting that you're awake. Play with me, Mummy. Play with me.. .Mummy... ? Daddy... ? Play with me.

(TROUBLE rolls over and exposes a stomach ready to be tickled.)

Look, I'm a good dog, a good dog, a very good dog, the very best dog. Tickle me, Mummy. Tickle me, Daddy. (Getting no response, TROUBLE barks again then, very disappointed., walks away.)

It's not fair. They're awake. T know they're still awake. I can hear them talking. They don't want to play with me. And it's such a lovely day. Humph! Good walkies time going to waste. It's a rotten life.

(TROUBLE sulks for a minute.)

(Brightening up.) Wonder if there's any food left? Let's have a look in my bowl. (Looking.) Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Biscuits!

(TROUBLE takes a biscuit and throws if in the air:)

I'm going to eat you, biscuit. Oh, yes I am. (Playing with it, batting it around the floor.) Over there. No, over there! Got you! Ha ha, biscuit, now you're going to be eaten. You're going to be eaten good and proper.

(TROUBLE eats the biscuit.)

Yum. (Suddenly hearing a noise.) It's that man pushing paper through the door again! T'll get you! You can't push paper through my door. I'll get you!! I'll get you!!

(TROUBLE runs off barking.)

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